The title I'm sure does it enough justice. It's not a hard visual to imagine. Hand a 4 year old a glass "toy" and there is little to no time before the "toy" is broken. So, the logical decision would be to not give a 4 year old a glass "toy".Yet (metaphorically speaking), so many of us do it every day by frivolously give our energy away to "4 year olds." We consistently give people access to our energy before they have proven they are capable of handling our authenticity. We entertain people who are more inclined to judge, criticize, or belittle our essence rather than embrace us in love, honesty, and compassion. I learned this lesson the hard way and something very near to me was attacked. Which was unnecessary though. We are allowed to choose who is let in and who stays out.
Remember, people's judgements of you are reflections of their own insecurities. Altering yourself to appease "them" makes for a more insecure world one person at a time. A more insecure world is a more divided world as insecurity is the root of much of our division. A more divided world is one in which we fight and compete rather than coexisting attaining goals together. A world full of competition is a world that lacks compassion and love.
To be comfortable in your skin today is to be amongst a minority choosing to view self through eyes of love. Those choosing perceptions of judgement of self (which ultimately turns outward to others) are confused by our choice, and in our society it is popular thought to hate and/or fear what is not understood. It is O K A Y to remove these people from your life. It is your right to protect your peace by choosing to only engage those who support your authenticity, support your peace, support your joy.
That being said, I'm proposing a new popular (a growing one, so maybe I'm jumping on a train already moving considering there's "nothing new on the internet". Either way, I'm excited.):
A U T H E N T I C I T Y
Seriously, it changes the whole game when you stick to your truth. There are millions of quotes about it. Self-help books that date decades back. And probably several thousand blogs that will tell you "how to be authentic." But the truth is only you can tell you how to be authentic. Only you can tell you how to be you; even there you have little wiggle room. So, I'm just here to share my vulnerable truth of having to climb up the mountain of insecurity wondering if I would make it some days to reach the top having the crisp fresh air and view take my breath away. It was (is) all worth it. The freedom feels like rain in the middle of a drought or heat in the dead of winter. It is exactly what you need when you need it the most.
The trick is to just be. Stop questioning every move. Stop looking for a reason for every minuscule action or thought. Stop comparing to other people, things, journeys. Slow down. Meditate (or pray, whatever is in your spiritual practice). Embrace simplicity again. Connect back to that gut, instinctual feeling. Cultivate a safe space for a deep mind-body connection (take a walk, do some yoga, have sex!). Take honest assessments without judgement. Choose the perspective that this awareness (and/or decision) leads to a certain outcome, then decide am I okay with this outcome or do I need to adjust to create a different outcome? You have more power than you realize. Trust yourself. Trust your heart's intentions. Freedom isn't free, but it's your choice to pay the price. You can afford it, if you want to.
It's a journey indeed, one that I step forward and backwards on each day. Yet I'm learning to perceive my "backward steps" in a new light knowing that each time I am learning a new place where I can be authentic, where I can create freedom by being. Learn to love your lane and joy will be your state of existence. Keep on keepin' on, gods and goddesses. You are not alone in your trek to be your best you. The minority becomes the majority through perseverance.
"Wear your halo like a hat. It's like the latest fashion."
-Chance The Rapper
One love. Keep the faith.