He stole my attention and heart in a simple Instagram post. He spoke words under a captivating image that were immediately understood by my soul. I had to know him, even if it was just virtually. So I DM'd him, with ease he told me his story (at least a piece of it), and here we are... Thank you for sharing all of yourself with myself and my readers. You are on a beautiful journey with an astounding mission, and I'm grateful! It's like cool water in the middle of a desert to experience your truth and vulnerability. I encourage you to read on, but know that this is not for the faint at heart. It's the purity, bold honesty, and vulnerability of sensuality and sexuality BEYOND what our society leads us to believe about it. Open your mind. Enjoy, my loves. Be blissed, be well...
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Expressions Untold... because I dont want people going through what I went through. Growing up I dealt with a lot of self doubt and insecurites because of my feelings and views toward sexuality and the human body. As a young boy I loved them both and took a huge interests in them. I remember being 13 years old reading books about the kama sutra and human anatomy. I remember hating to put on clothes everyday and feeling a freedom in my bare skin. So as I aged and got into my teen years these feelings only developed. My thoughts on sex were always different than those around me which cuased me to feel as if something was wrong with me. It also didnt help that I grew up in a religious household that didnt really allow for open discussions about sex or the body.
I saw sex as the most beautiful thing. Like most people my first introduction to it was through porn. And while that wasn't the best way at all to see it I found a love in seeing two people please each other. To this day I still remember the moans and screams I heard coming from the couple on that screen. To know that we as humans could feel pleasure in that way was amazing to me. I wanted to understand it. I wanted to learn it and master it and be able to please a woman this way one day. Maybe even teach others about this art form called sex.
The more I learned about sex the less I understood about why it was so suppressed. Why would something so beautiful and creative be kept hidden and treated with such disgust? All the while I myself was battling my own issues trying to find my place in a world that didn't seem fit for me. I felt immense amounts of sexual and sensual energy flowing through me at all times and because of that I thought that I had issues with how I saw myself.
Having past lovers and friends tell me that I was "a bit much" had taken its toll on my view of myself and who I was. To this day I have a cousin who still has my name in his phone as "pervert" because of how I could always talk about sex or want to have it. Add that with the religous household I grew up in and its a perfect combination for someone to hate themself which I often did.
The more I tried to supp